And my answer is...

Recently, I've been in touch with a dear old friend of mine. Or is that an old deer friend. Or maybe a friendly old deer.

Anyways, since we hadn't been in touch with each other for quite some time, he had some questions for me. And here, for your enjoyment, are my answers.

1. Are you in Idaho?
Only in the morning, on even days, when my hair is a light shade of sienna.
2. Do you have 4,011 kids?
I actually do not, although I do have close to 4,011 limited-edition Carl Jung collectible soap dishes.
3. Are you the new drummer for Whitesnake?
I was for the first part of this year, when we were doing the "We're back and hissing" Tour, but after my countless pleas with them to ditch all the groupies and have a Star Wars Monopoly/Lord of the Rings Risk marathon, they dumped me for some other guy.
4. Have you ever tried to teach an earthworm karate?
Yes, and let me just say that they have a mean round house.
5. Does this look infected to you?
Not yet. Give it another week or two. And keep dipping it in the toilet every hour.
6. If somebody's parent's die when that person is 45, are they still and orphan?
In Volume 21, under Section 32.553b on page 728 of the Unabridged Version of Rules for Orphaning, it clearly states, "Maybe."
7. Do you have new friends?
No, I ran out of money last year.
8. Are they better than me?
Only in stature. And vacuuming. Oh, and investing. And origami making.
9. Do you think the Olympics would be better if they were played to the death?
Ooh, I can see it now... Curling for your life. Now that would be entertainment.
10. Do you like bands that just rock or bands that rock and roll better?
I will have to go with ones that rock and roll. Because they are the ones that make the better sandwich.

Thanks Bam!