What do you have against egg salad?

Well, I'm sorry to say that "Egg salad in my pants Saturday" will not go forth. Apparently, only 28.57% of you were willing to support such an entertaining endeavor, and it just isn't enough to fund the project. But, still feel free to donate $1 to me.

And since 42.86% of you didn't wish to give your hard earned buck to the cause, we will drop the idea and move on to the next one. (Maybe "Ham in my armpit Monday?!?")

To the other 28.57% of you that voted "Glockenspiel," may I just say how much I can sympathize with you. I, as well, seem to have glockenspiels on my mind constantly. It's an issue that can not be overlooked, or minimized. Until the moment when the medical community recognize this as a true disorder and supply us with a prescription drug that relieves these symptoms, yet causes 12 new ones, may I just say, "Carry on, glockenspiel. Carry on."