Monday Night Staff Meeting Sketch #17

In a long standing tradition to prepare myself for staff meetings, I "hide" a frosted-covered, sprinkled doughnut in our conference room. I then pretend like I'm a bloodhound, hot on the trail, and sniff around the room until I "find" it. Then I howl while saying the words, "Peanut brittle." I take the doughnut back to my seat and scarf it down with my hands behind my back. I then sit and wonder why no one ever wants to sit next to me. The staff meeting begins...

I never understood why some people want to build a house up in the mountains. I mean, doesn't that seem a bit unstable?!? Well, I guess you wouldn't have to worry about pesky trick or treaters. And if you did get any, you could just lean towards the door and squish 'em.

Uh...let's see now...what's next on my list..."Draw a check mark." Oh...uh...check!

I would just like to send a big "Thank you!" to the people from the "Pimp my Forklift" television show. They surprised me last week at my place, and let me tell you, I was flabbergasted! Now, I'm the envy of the neighborhood, and I won't even tell you how many beautiful women wave at me as I drive down the street. Thank you P.M.F! Thank you!!

I feel that staff meetings in December are a little awkward when Santa starts showing up each time and stands in the corner, waving at me. I try to ignore him, but he keeps doing it. I try to tell the other staff members but they just roll their eyes and say things like, "Here we go again," and "Is he off his medication?" or "Don't lick the fondue pot."

Whenever we can't agree on something during our staff meeting (or just get bored), we like to settle it by playing a game we call "Bowling for Weasels." We keep a few of them under the cabinet by sink just for these tense situations. Afterwards, everyone feels refreshed and ready to move forward. Santa bowled a 300 too.

Comments

Riley said…
HEY!!! Isn't this supposed to be on the sidebar?! Look! There's a quick link to a MNSMS. I only see Supplements A through C and and actual Monday Night Staff Meeting Sketch post numbers 1 through 16, and this is #17.

Nice Santa. Can't wait for his visit this year.

The house looks like it's about to fall off. It must be too heavy! How much weight is in there?
Riley said…
Watch out, weasel!
Jeff said…
I...uh...I...

I don't know what you are talking about.

:o)

Oh, and the house weighs 5 plillion pounds.
Riley said…
Okay...there's thousand, there's million, there's billion, there's trillion, and then there's quadrillion. (I know because I read it.)

But plillion?!?!?!

Thousands, millions, billions, trillions, quadrillions, and plillions.

Sounds nice. The next must be frillion.