Couch, Turtle, Run

Thanks for the words Derrick! Enjoy!

If you have any ideas for the 3 words game, just let me know!

Vacation Memories, part 3

This was one of those moments in your life where you will look back 30 years from now and say "I was there. I stood in the presence of unfathomable greatness." And I took this picture to prove it. I know, I know, it was one in a million shot, but I captured it! It can no longer be denied! I can only hope you are sitting down for this unprecedented event. With this photo, all will witnessed the most amazing... uh, oh... wait a second... uh, never mind. Wrong picture.

Here's a restaurant parking sign.

Silly Putty Close-Up Thursday #23

Not everybody trusts paintings but people believe photographs.
Ansel Adams

Unfortunately, this was before Adobe Photoshop was invented.
Cluster T. Uva

Silly Putty Note: Next week we'll see the last of the blue silly putty, and it's a cool one!

Vacation Memories, part 2

A disappointing part of my vacation was the highly favored "Coldwater Hill Rest Area." Not only was the water not cold, but the "hill" was truly more of a knoll. So really, this should be called "Luke-warmwater Knoll Rest Area." Talk about false advertising. I've sent a complaint to the president of rest areas, and hopefully they will make the change in the name to end this deceit.

On a positive note, I'll have to say that the roller coaster ride wasn't too shabby.

Vacation Memories, part 1

I recently came back from a vacation, and thought I'd share a few memorable moments from the trip for the next few posts. However, I can't show any images or video clips from the "Shoe-horn Incident" for various legal reasons.

I had to show you this, and prove that aliens are visiting this planet. Just look at this strange alloyed anomaly! I licked it for 12 straight minutes and still couldn't figure out what is was made from. What is it? Could it be a genocidal torturing device? Or possibly an interplanetary deciphering beacon. I'm thinking it's a device used for hanging alien formal wear, and it was accidentally left behind. Those little grey guys are sooo absentminded sometime.

Oh, it's there.

I remember when I was little (which was just last week) I was sure I could find buried treasure under our lawn. Or dinosaur bones. Or a secret tunnel to some forgotten underground kingdom.

Well, I guess finding 2 out of 3 wasn't bad.

Or maybe Rhode Island

I was recently hired to make a new logo/banner for the world famous "I want Moe attention" comic blog. It paid so well that I am now able to purchase Delaware.

It's now up, and I recommend that you take a gander at it. Happy Birthday I.W.M.A.!

Just a reminder, folks.

Remember kiddies, be safe and West Nile Virus free.

Silly Putty Close-Up Thursday #22

What the mass media offers is not popular art, but entertainment which is intended to be consumed like food, forgotten, and replaced by a new dish.
W. H. Auden

The later stages of this process is what many refer to as "Entertainment Poo."
Cluster T. Uva

What about the zoilet in the...uh...

(A missing page from "There's a wocket in my pocket.")

...And the Gright
that turns on the light.
Such a handy thing to have at night.

Something with bubbles

Do you ever draw something, look at it, and wonder "Why did I just draw that?" It happens to me on occasion, and it's usually just a simple byproduct of my pen moving around on paper aimlessly.

However, when I want to draw a happy pig... I draw a happy pig.

Can't wait to see the improvements!

Due to the fact that the Idaho State Capitol Building will be closed for the next 320 years to add dunking booths, more vending machines that have Pop Tarts, and an alligator pit, we present this photo from the P.D.o.G.U. archives.

Silly Putty Close-Up Thursday #21

There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

I still don't think I'd stand under one.
Cluster T. Uva

There's one born every minute

A monster-tongue creature is going to take that lollipop to the cleaners, unless grandpa Santa doesn't hurry up and start licking!

(I think that is the first time, in the history of the world, that anyone has typed that sentence. Will you be the first to utter it out loud?)

"Plume" is a funny word.

I'm afraid his plume is in dire need of a trim. At least his suit of armor looks well maintained. Let's just hope the other knights don't tease him as they go off to battle.

Tips on how to blend in

With a little practice, you can learn to blend in with any environment or group. Adhere to the following rules.

1. Never shout out the phrase, "I DON'T BELONG HERE!"
2. If you do shout out the aforementioned phrase, grab the nearest pail, and stick it on your head.
3. Don't run into walls with a pail on your head.
4. Talk to yourself, and answer yourself.
5. Blink your eyes as if you get $100 for each time you blink.
6. If someone looks at you, raise your eyebrows and ask, "Do you like to say the word 'Galapagos?'"
7. Yell 'Galapagos!' at least 150 times in 60 seconds with a Mesopotamian accent.
8. Never stop, drop and roll, unless provoked.
9. Don't lick the shoes of those around you.
10. Put food in your armpit and say, "Mmmm, this one's tasty!"

If you follow these simple suggestions, you'll blend in with everybody else seamlessly. Good luck!

Silly Putty Close-Up Thursday #20

There is a boundary to men's passions when they act from feelings; but none when they are under the influence of imagination.
Edmund Burke

To bad it's not approved by the FDA.
Cluster T. Uva

Bread is optional

Experience a journey like no other on the planet—one that spans hundreds of miles across a grassy continent. Braving mild winds, moderate temperatures and not an outlet to be found, this is the incredible true story of an appliances quest to bring toast to the world.

Backs dislike embedded knives

As a general rule of thumb, having a knife in your back is not a good thing. I would also recommend that if someone is planning on sticking multiple knives in your back, then you should take precautionary steps to ensure a knife-free back. If left untreated, there may be slight discomfort when laying down.

Traveling with a jaroobafed

At times, you may think that domesticated jaroobafeds are a pleasure to travel with. But do not be deceived by the smiles you may see on those traveling with one of them. Let me set the record strait and reveal the truth behind these seemingly innocent beasts.

First of all, they are constantly reminding you to wash behind your ears. Even after you've scrubbed them for hours on end, they'll begin their queries again.

Secondly, jaroobafeds eat 30x their weight each day, and there diet is mostly bon bons and horse shoes.

Lastly, these burdensome beast hate walking north-east on sunny, even-numbered days. And if you try to take them that direction, they will sit and whistle the "I dream of Jeanie" song until you flap your arms and bark like a hungry dog. And forget about traveling close to holidays, because they won't use their left legs 18 days before or after a holiday.

So, next time you see someone smiling while traveling with one of these creatures, it's probably because they are almost at the end of their journey.