Please say "Ahhhhhh!"

Ever notice that I seem to enjoy drawing people/things with enormous mouths with tongues shooting out? I guess it's just one of those things that I find amusing. I mean, who doesn't think that's funny?

Illustration Friday: Remember

Like most other quadrupeds, I have a tendency to forget every third item introduced into my brain. Luckily, I have invented this remarkable device that lets anyone remember stuff. Thank goodness for technology.

Silly Putty Close-Up Thursday #14

It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
Henry David Thoreau

And I still think you look goofy.
Cluster T. Uva

(Note: Blue Silly Putty Starts next week! Mark your calendars! Or calendar your marks!)

If flashlights could talk

Okay, I don't know what freaks me out more... the floating flashlight, or that creepy looking kid.

My crow wave

I have a confession to make... I'm incompetent when it comes to knowing how much time it takes to cook things in the microwave. Except if it's a marshmallow, which in that case I just punch in numbers until it explodes. But everything else is a great unreachable mystery to me. "Oh, I need to heat this bowl of (fill in the blank). I guess it should take a bout 30 seconds." And then, half an hour later and after punching in "30" about two thousand times, my bowl of (fill in the blank) is finally hot. So then next time, I figure I'm not going to let this fancy schmancy machine out-smart me, so I punch in "25 minutes", and then proceed to melt my entire house.

If anyone has mastery of this elusive knowledge, please share.

Oh, and if you are wondering what I have my microwave plug into...

Fame and fortune, baby.

I'd like to take this moment and give you a statistical update for P.D.o.G.U. and point out our popularity, calculated by Technorati.com. As you can see, we are quite trendy and in high demand. Millions are joining us everyday. Yes, over 3 million to be more precise. And... I'm sorry... what was that?... The 3 million number isn't amount of readers, it's... our rank? In the world? Oh. Well... I guess I'd better cancel the fireworks show then, eh? And take back the giant grape-udder hot air balloon.

Silly Putty Close-Up Thursday #13

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.
Walt Disney

Unless your dream is to grow plastic wiffle balls from your armpits. Which, in that case, just forget about it.
Cluster T. Uva

The other poster, "Puke, Catch, & Croon" didn't seem to work very well.

Here's a poster I just finished for a guy that really wants to go see the Sistine Chapel. Oh, and compete in some running, jumping, throwing thing. He has to do, like, 10 different things... like eat his weight in hot dogs, catch a Frisbee with his ear, and float across a river on a bar of Ivory soap while singing "Mary had a little lamb."

Maybe he makes good toast.

With degorious omniprudence, the disconfabulated figure bemaffles his way to the scruptulicent, propreciated destination with only one goal in mind... "Dance like I've never danced before."

Thank you. This has been a incoherent, random Monday post, starring some superhero with powers yet to be revealed. (I bet you wish Monday Night Staff Meeting Sketches were back, hu? Ya, me too.)

I'm not sure that corpse will fit.

Stand back and be amazed at this Exquiset Corpse! I was given this slice to ponder artistically...

So, we have what appears to be chain mesh or a metal screen of some sort. Hmmm... I need to find some images of something similar.

Who would have guessed there's a whole website dedicated to metal mesh. Well, this still doesn't look right. Let me do some more searching.

Mmmmm, no. Still not there.

Well, getting closer, but still doesn't have the right perspective... I may have to just *gasp* copy and paste from the slice I was given! Let's bring it into Photoshop, shall we?

So, as always, I start by matching the background. Easy enough. Now lets see what happens when I try and *gasp* copy and paste.

Well, would you look at that! It matches up perfectly! Except for that diamond looking thing... Wait a second, maybe I can duplicate one side and then flip it!

It works! Oh, ho, ho! Looking good! (I'm quite pleased with *gasp* copying and pasting.)

Now that I have a somewhat perfectly repeating background I can do what ever I want! Let's see, what could I add... Ooo! How about an old school Battlestar Galactica Cylon Raider!!

Hmmmm, cool, but I'm not sure this will work.

Well, Merry Christmas to you too! But I think a Cylon Santa suit works even less. (I can hear the Cylon going "Ho. Ho. Ho.) I may have to go another route.

I find some cartoon guy's back, and a port hole from a ship.

I add them in to look something like...

This! Ah, lovely.

I also add a little highlight to make it look like glass.

Then I add some clouds with shadows, so the next person that gets my slice won't have to try and match metal mesh again. I submit my section, and the final result is...

A sight to behold. Ah, bask in the exquisite corpseness of it all.

Silly Putty Close-Up Thursday #12

The man who has no imagination has no wings.
Muhammad Ali

The man who has no wings must be some kind of freak then.
Cluster T. Uva

Stupor Sonic

Thoughts on cookies and trees

Did you ever read the book where Cookie Monster finds a tree that grows cookies, but a witch put a spell on it so that it would only give cookies to people who share them, but Cookie Monster usually doesn't share cookies and normally eats other peoples cookies, but then he finds out that the witch did the spell but now even she can't get a cookie, so they decide to share together and get a cookie? Me too.

Oh, and here's a guy with a tree growing out of his head.
(Do I have some kind of twisted obsession with things growing out of people's heads or something?!?)

You have been warned.

Protect your children and small animals.

Silly Putty Close-Up Thursday #11

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain

Well, my eyes can't focus because some guy behind me keeps hitting my head with a frying pan.
Cluster T. Uva

More helpful tips

Rule #1: Do not shoot arrows at large, gelatinous, disgruntled creatures.

It's next to the watering hole.

Here's a good reason why we don't let these guys drive.